PUNY MORTAL, KNEEL BEFORE THE GIANT HEAD OF SUSAN BYSIEWICZ!
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This portrait, shown here along with the smaller head of Bobby Sherwood, is done in a medium known as "sand art." It is currently on loan to our Off-World Colony Museum of Curiosities, and it has spurred us to create the Susan Byseiwicz Folk Art Contest. We are asking "outsider artists" -- like you! -- to create the visage of our beloved Secretary of State in any medium at all. Colored macaroni, small river pebbles, dried fruit, yarn, paint, pixels. Somehow, our image of this is linked to the old Peter Gabriel "Sledgehammer" video. Remember? With all those weird faces and stuff? We were so much younger then.
Assuming there are entries, a winner will be selected by a three-member art jury consisting of Bill Curry, Zalman Nakhimovsky and Maya Angelou. Actually, we've only firmed up two of those three.
The winner will receive fabulous prizes -- the very best stuff we can pry out of the hands of our free-spending Mediterranean promotions director Tristano Korlou -- and have his or her art work hung somewhere here -- at least temporarily -- at Mrs. Winkie's Orhpanage, maybe even out in the lobby, if Mrs. Winkie says yes. Oh please say yes, Mrs. Winkie!!!
The winner will also receive a kiss from Tim Helmecki and turn into a frog and live forever on the shores of Lake Salhany.
Wait. That was just a dream we had right before waking up this morning. Never mind about it.
Entries must be mailed or delivered to the WTIC offices at 10 Executive Drive Farmington, CT 06032.
We reserve the right to detonate and/or immerse in water all suspicious looking parcels. And we can't really guarantee that you'll get them back in pristine condition because zombies rampage through the corridors here at night. Questions? Write to Colin at rmag99@aol.com. Deadline for entries is Nov. 1.
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